During my fight with the Kaiser Kong, a subtle pause in the fight appeared.
…… Mou ne, what was that. You’re that eager to hit me. I want to die.
For the mean time, I somehow got up, because I didn’t want to experience the pain that would come if this situation continues.
「Fu, fufufu… You’re quite something…」
「No, I just want to self-destruct…」
I wanna hide in a hole if I can find one! I tried lying, but a really precise tsukkomi appeared!
It’s “that” huh. Magic needs practice. If this continues my body won’t hold.
「……Do you want to continue?」
「Give me a break…」
What’s with me? Selfishly dying and collapsing mentally? Even so, it seems that this gorilla-san still wants to continue?
「… Then, let’s go?」
Is what I heard from Kaiser Kong, but I would be helpless if it were to attack right now. My body hurts all over, and I can’t activate any skills instantly or recover.
But, if magic can’t be used to satisfy this situation, then… Do I have a technique to defeat her?
Nevertheless, the Kaiser Kong in front of me is really honest. Even going through the trouble to ask if it’s okay to attack me… It’s even sympathizing with me, or is it just my imagination. My luck has increased, right?
More importantly, I seriously don’t have a plan to end this conflict…….
My skills won’t hit, and I can’t really use magic. My body only recovers when I use medicine, but during that time I’ll get attacked, right. It’s because she honestly asked if it’s okay to attack that I feel that it’s ok to recover…
Something… Something that I can use……!
I rotate my head with all of my might, it was while I was thinking of turning the tables on her.
「Mou, I’ve waited long enough. Here I go!」
Mou, I thought that she’d wait for a bit but, Kaiser Kong came at me with dreadful speed.
Luckily, she didn’t use a skill, so if I think about dodging it I can. … If it was the fully recovered me that is.
It’s because I fired my strongest magic that my body hurts all over, so I can’t move my body like I want.
What do I do……!
While thinking that, I remember the secret weapon I was hiding.
「I also have… My smell!」
That clever monkey died as a result of that deadly smell……!
Ah, but, because of that previous attack, maybe the smell has faded…….
However, that is not a problem for the current me.
Because I have the title of 『Smelly Player』!
With this title, I have a complete mastery of controlling my smell, although, as a result I don’t know whether to be happy or lament about it.
「Fuhahahaha! Kaiser Kong!」
「! …… What?」
The Kaiser Kong’s attack stopped, and she stood still in place. … So honest.
「You have no way of winning now!」
「Why is that?」
「It’s because… I have a secret weapon!」
「Wha- What did you say!?」
Why do you even know that. No, it’s just a coincidence.
「If you get close to me your life will be forfeit……!」
「… What the heck, is happenin’?」
The Kaiser Kong didn’t hide her bewilderment from my speech. Well, that reaction is normal. Dying just by getting close would usually be unbelievable.
However, my body odor is outrageous, my special move! I sacrificed pride as a human just to obtain this greatest move!
I immediately used the 『Smelly Player』 status, releasing the maximum smell.
This title allows one to have full mastery of control over their smell, but can’t produce the smell itself. In short, the smell I can use is either strong or weak.
Therefore, in no less than a 10 cm radius my strong smell will waft the air.
However, given that it is a smell, it only works in a short range.
Therefore, I have a plan to use my clothes to increase the range of the smell. Otherwise, before the smell reaches her a fist will cave in my face.
「Now then! Come at me!」
I rapidly fan my clothes as such. For some reason, the Kaiser Kong seems to be backing away.
But, while I was distracted for a second, the Kaiser Kong disappeared from her location.
She probably used the skill 『Instant Skill.』
「……Mou, this is the end.」
When I heard those short words, the Kaiser Kong suddenly appeared in front of me, then her fist appeared before my eyes.
As I thought, it was hopeless!? I can’t win with smell!? Did it even reach her!?
It appears that my smell didn’t reach at all, and I instantly regretted my actions.
I’m so stupid. There’s no way I can kill with smell. … Even though the Clever monkey died. Tha- That was just a coincidence!
I’ve already given up and accepted the fist that is heading straight to my face.
That kind of onomatopoeia was almost attached, as scary force of her fist stopped centimeters from my face.
My eyes were unintentionally drawn to the fist, and I felt the drip of cold sweat down my back.
Let’s keep it a secret that I almost peed myself.(TL: Help ” 少しちびりそうだったのは内緒だ” . this is what I think of this line.)
I blink my eyes countless times. The me that was looking at the fist wondered why the punch suddenly stopped, and finally peeked at the Kaizer Kong’s expression.
「Po~……」(TL: this is the sound effect when extremely blushing.)
I shouldn’t have looked.
What a disgusted look! A really beefy female gorilla’s face is blushing and playing dumb!?
Or rather, What’s wrong Kaiser Kong!? What the heck happened!?
While I was thinking that, she suddenly showed a serious face, or so I thought, but, with that expression the Kaizer Kong firmly gripped both of my shoulders. … What the, was it so disgusting that it made her reaction late!?
Feeling anxious about what will happen as a result of my blunders, I stared at the Kaiser Kong in front of me, whose cheeks were gradually turning red. Then, her lips parted.
Wait wait wait. Wait wait wait. Calm down me. Uh, what did she say just now? If it wasn’t just my imagination, I think I heard 『Suki』…….
That’s the only possibility, but I want to throw it away, if I respect her feelings, I might be pursued even more.
「Let’s get married now.」
Yabai, what do I say. This is surpassing my mental output’s tolerance level. What hell is this Kaiser Kong saying?!
Taking advantage of my confusion, the Kaiser Kong grabbed my hand and dragged me away.
「Strong male. Your pheromone is amazing. Really cool. I’ll bring you home to our nest. And make children」
The situation gradually sinks in.
「It’s over, she doesn’t understand…!」
My injuries were treated thoroughly by the Kaiser Kong, in order to try to investigate the cause of this I looked back at our battle, but…
Seriously, why has this happened!? What did I do!?
I completely understand the situation I am now in, but I don’t understand why this situation occurred.
「What’s the problem? Do you want to eat?」
Kaiser Kong, Saria-san, offered me food. Kutabaru. (TL: kick the bucket.)
「Look here, I said I don’t want any, right? More to the point, would you please let me go?」
「No. Seiichi, my husband.」
「I’m nooooooot! I am a human! You’re a “kuso gorilla” Understand!? Our races are different!? First off, I won’t ever marry a gorilla! You understand right!?」 (TL: So mean.)
「I, not a “Kuso gorilla”. Saria」
「Just shut uuuuuuuuup!」
Anyone! Is there any comrade I can share this pain with!? If there is bring him here at light speed!
By the way, the “kuso gorilla” knows my name because I reluctantly ended up saying it, due to a simple threat, or rather, the outcome of a request. I was told that she will kiss me right there if I lied.
What’s more, I can’t lie because I feel like she will see through it, so I ended up helplessly saying my true name. I wanna die.
Haa, Haa…… Is the only retort I could rough up with because, in front of me food appeared.
The food in front of me that was prepared for me, is, honestly tasty.
Unfamiliar meats and fruits, and a variety of vegetables were used, how the heck did she cook all this, it has become 『Cuisine』.
My mouth refuses, but I’m pretty hungry.
If it comes to this, even though my stomach growls――――
「You, hungry. Eat」
I don’t want this anymoreeeeeeeee!
But, my stomach has already growled, so I can’t say that I’m full.
Also, the Kaiser Kong in front of is gallantly looking after me, so, reluctantly I accept the dish and carry the food to my mouth.
Even if I eat poison, it won’t work on me……
Even though I have that skill, I still feel a bit anxious as I carefully bring the food close to my mouth.
The dish in my hand has something, an unfamiliar roasted meat. However, it’s not just roasted. Guessing from the smell it has something like garlic, pepper, and other vegetables with spices, overall it has a good aroma that tickles my nose.
After appraising it for a second, the smell indicated that this was 『Pawn Dragon Steak』. D-dragon…..
As expected of the Kaiser.
I timidly put the food I was given into my mouth.
I sufficiently chewed and swallowed it.
My eyes went “Ga,” widening. If I was to make an expression like those in manga, it would be that my eyes are shooting beams of light.
Anyway, it caused that kind of reaction…… The pawn dragon steak-ish thing was delish.
N- no! It’s the ingredients! It’s because the ingredients are good! Other cooking…. Ah, surely the stew sitting before won’t be any good!
Next, I reached for the stew-ish thing and appraised it, and discovered this contained Clever Monkey meat. …… What the…
Is this cannibalism!? No, it’s a different type of monkey so it might not be cannibalism…
Even so, it’s her comrade right!? Eh, do you even cook them!?
Noticing that the ingredients surprised me, the Kaiser Kong explained.
「We’re not comrades. Don’t selfishly attach me to them. However, they do listen to what I say.
I, make profit」
Uwaa…… Don’t mind the clever monkey.
They’re smart, but they’re being used.
However, the clever monkey’s meat was supposed to be disgusting. As a result, even cooked it will be disgusting, right.
Normally, I wouldn’t hope that the food I put into my mouth is disgusting, but, this time I won’t say such a stupid thing so, I was hoping for this to turn out the other way. Once again, I put the stew in mouth.
I hung my head.
It’s good… What’s with this? What the heck…
Thinking in such a way, naturally I should have taken damage.
「I made it all. Is it good?」
Liar-W…… Why are you so good at cooking…….
With a heavy feeling, the “Kuso Gorilla” slowly pursued me, going on the offensive.
「Oh yeah, Seiichi, worn out. I made new thing.」
What the Kaiser Kong handed to me was, something that is usually found on earth, made from fine quality materials that I’ve never seen before. Although, they couldn’t be called perfect, they were definitely a pair of shirt and trousers.
The shirt was white and the trousers black.
「Both, monsters that I met, made from web. It’s robust, fine materials」
It looks like the Kaiser Kong in front of me made this.
「Clothes, take off afterwards. Wash in the river」
「Someone save meeeeeeeeee!」
I shouted with all my might.
What the heck is this really? Your “Joushi Ryoku” is really high! It’s too excessive right!? (TL: Girl power)
Cooking, laundry, sewing… Also, the nest you have in one part of the forest is clean, so thinking about it you’re also good in cleaning.
Isn’t this turning into a discussion about your qualifications as a wife!? A completely flawless body!? …… If you weren’t a Gorilla!?
「I, be a good wife?」
「Yeah you will be!? If the husband is a gorilla!」
「No way…… So embarrassing. If Seiichi say so, then let’s get married now.」
「I said if it’s a GORILLAAAAAAAAAA!」
I passed down my judgment…! But I can’t win…! What a hard lifeeeeeeee!
Is that it? The Kaiser Kong in front of me thinks that she and I are equals!?
Is that so!?
I somehow took a deep breath and regained my coolness despite the desperate situation.
I caught my breath and calmly thought about this.
I have to do something to escape this hell……!
For that, which way do I need to run?
If I run away… That’s it. Even if it’s the Clever monkey’s intelligence, or if it’s the “akurourufu”‘s intelligence, let’s run on the portion of the map that’s blackened.
Even if the Clever monkey shares a lot of characteristics with this “Kuso Gorilla,” if there was a blackened part, then maybe the “Kuso Gorilla” won’t know about that part. Even though it knows the place, it doesn’t know what kind of place it is, sorta like that?
Then when should I run…
It happened while I was thinking about that.
Not bothering about the emergency, but above all, why now? I don’t feel like it, but I suddenly questioned the Kaiser Kong in front of me.
「Oi, “Kuso Gorilla”」
「Not “Kuso Gorilla”. I, Saria」
「Shut up. So, how come you can also use the same language as mine?」
What caught my attention was the fact that the Kaiser Kong in front of me can skillfully speak the same language as me.
That Clever monkey doesn’t use words. However, this Kaiser Kong can easily come to an understanding with me.
Are you happy with me asking such a question…
「That is, because of a book I found in the nearby cave.」
「Cave? Also, a book?」
I inclined my head, and the “Kuso Gorilla” took a few steps away from the thicket, taking out a two-volume book.
Both books were tattered, one was thick, the other thin.
「It’s because I read these books, that I learned.」
Seriously… What an amazing “Kuso Gorilla.”
I accepted both books and looked at the cover of the thin book.
『Seikatsu Mahou no Gokui』(TL: Daily life with magic’s greatest secrets… I think)
「Daily life with magic」
Hearing a familiar word confused me. While in confusion, I tried opening the book.
After doing so, I found that the books contained information on how to use the convenience of magic in daily life.
A simple magic to start a fire. A magic to fill up a cup with water. Magic to dry the laundry. Magic to soften the land for easy plowing for crops… Everything was really trivial; it was filled with ways to use magic conveniently.
But inside, a single magic caught my attention. That magic was called 『Wash』.
Saying it simply, this magic cleans the dust, filth and grime from the body. It can’t clean the clothes, but if it is used on the body it will make daily life a homerun.
My body is pretty dirty so… Well, it feels like my magic will almost kill me while at the same time clean me a little.
If this magic was for a commoner it will likely be a popular usable magic. It makes the bathing experience of the rich aristocrat and merchant the same.
「Hee…… It really is a convenient magic」
It was during the time I mumbled.
『Daily life magic was learned』
The voice echoed in my head.
… How do I say this, I immediately learned the magic. But this thing needs practice and the like, right?
… Well, I learned it so there’s nothing to lose.
Now that I’ve learned Daily magic, I closed the 『Seikatsu Mahou no Gokui』 and reached for the thick volume.
For the time being, I read the title of the book to confirm it.
『The diary of Abel “yuusha”』
「Hee, The diary of Abel yuusha huh……」
A diary huh… I don’t want to continue reading this kind of thing…
Shocked by this truth, I let out a surprised voice.
Eh!? Diary of a “yuusha”!? Seriously!? This isn’t a fake right!?
I was slightly dumbfounded from shock while I opened the book.
『×× Year ● Month ○ Day. I was chosen as the hero, and it’s finally the day of departure. The minister of Pieru was assigned as a healer, and Glass as vanguard.
The logical support sage was Liliana, and Anna was the hunter. Everyone personally accepted from the king the fate of subjugating the Demon Lord. With this, I travelled with my treasured group. We need to protect the world, but I don’t want anyone to die. I’ll fight to the limits of my strength!』
「Wow, it’s really hero-ish, he is. Anyway, Demon lord and Hero, just noble is that path.」
Well, my past colleagues were involved in something like a hero summoning, right? I wonder how Kenji is?
With that in mind, as I remember the hero summoning of my friend, I gradually continued reading.
However, as the pages progress, they become more tattered.
『×× Year ● Month ○ Day. It has been one year since we started travelling. No one has been lost, this long yet short trip was thanks everyone. But, as we progressed through our journey we passed by many different towns and villages, laying eyes upon those places and their situations I want to help them. My wish to hastily defeat the demon lord strengthens. As a hero, I was assigned this mission by the ――country’s――king and to repay the people that supported me.』
『×× Year ● Month ○ Day. We managed to track down one of the leaders of the Demon lord’s army. However, cost was big, a friend that was with me throughout this long journey was Glass. It was the result of her covering for me. My weakness and wretchedness filled me with a target-less anger, even now I feel like exploding.
Why am I this weak! I’m not strong at all! Even so, I was praised by everyone as a hero, this is the result of me getting on a high horse……! I won’t let the same mistake happen again. Even though I am disheartened, Liliana and Anna kindly comforted me.
Glass, for your supreme atonement, I will get the demon lord’s head!』
「……Yuusha is so popular. Pieru, so pitiable……」
『×× Year ● Month ○ Day. I have finally defeated the Demon Lord. However, what was waiting for us was the cruelty of reality. Pieru double-crossed us. After defeating the Maou, Pireu attacked the tired me. I somehow protected Liliana and Anna, and we ran with our lives. We reported Pieru’s double crossing to the ――Country’s――king』
「He betrayed!? Pieru!? It’s that huh, effect of being jealous of the popular hero!?」
『×× Year ● Month ○ Day. I am disappointed in the humans. What was waiting for me was condemnation from the citizens. It looks like I was even tricked by the country. According to information underground, the rumor that was spread was that I was connected to one of the murderous leaders of the Maou army who was left behind. Even more, concerning the matter of the revival of the maou, the country and its leaders devised a disastrous scenario. But, I no longer care about that. I’ll return to the country, and for my beloved Liliana and Anna, who were murdered, I’ll pursue this diary later. Everywhere, there are foolish humans, but, by remembering my travels with Liliana and Anna, the things I don’t want to be reminded of fade.
If anyone reads this diary, please don’t ever repeat the same mistake. Some future, wishing for the future—— Abel』
I gently closed the diary.
「Ugh, so heavy!」
I slammed the diary to the ground with all my might.
「What’s with this!? Normally, you write about the fun things from your everyday life in a diary, right!? Surely you also write painful and sad things, but, this is too much, right!?」
E-……Then what? I’ll work not to repeat the same mistake after reading this diary?
Don’t say unreasonable things! First and foremost, the most important things are tattered! Is it on purpose!?
「Seiichi, calm down. You have me.」
「It’s because of you that its become a disaster!」
「Marriage, able to?」
I’ll definitely run away from this Kuso Gorilla……! Is what I promised.