“Shh, it’s fine, Hun. We’re here.” Dubhe comforts me and comes close to wrap me in a hug.
I’m so pathetic. Sobbing over messing up a conversation. These types of things always happened in my previous life, but I keep screwing them up here too. It’s no wonder that none of my relationships ever end happily. Er, last happily?
“Listen, we’re here for you. Well, just us, not everyone. Mika still hates you, and you’re still banished from Ceres or vice versa. Anyway, we’re here for you.” Huh? What is she getting at?
Maybe I should just go rest in my room. I don’t want to start another fight.
I carefully push her away, then walk towards my abode.
“Tristain, we’re here for you, even if Melsy isn’t.” What?! Are you seriously saying that? I look back at her, incredulous. “Melsy might be a guy, but we don’t think anyone will hold that against you. We would even take you back, if you wanted.”
I’m not sure if I should be furious, upset, happy? Definitely going to go with upset. I don’t think I should say anything about it though. It will definitely just start a big fight. She is the mother of our kids. I need to be on good terms with her. Walk away. Walk away!
My feet aren’t moving.
“We mean, no one knew he was a guy. So, we think it’s okay, now.” She’s looking less certain now. Maybe I’m looking scary. I feel scary. I’m mad. Dubhe, you shouldn’t judge other people’s relationships from your standards. “You can move on to a real girl now.”
I can’t hold it any longer. I’m so angry.
“That’s what this is about? I love Melsy. I think she loved me too. We don’t care, no, I can only say, I don’t care that she is a guy. We make each other happy. Real girl?! Like you? Who couldn’t accept what I needed? What I needed?! Some real girl. I’d rather have Melsy. She treats me the way I need to feel loved, and I try my best to do the same for her. Every. Day.” I’m so angry. I want to just yell and break something. I want to rage at someone, so they understand how I feel. No, I want to rage at Dubhe. How dare she. I can feel my hands getting hot and sweaty.
“I’m going to say more things I regret if we keep talking about this. I’m going to take some time to myself to try and sort things out. Please leave me alone, Dubhe.” I stomp off to my little house.
I might have heard crying behind me, but I didn’t turn around to verify. I’m too furious.
Mostly, now, I’m pissed off at myself for taking that out on Dubhe. It felt like I needed to tell her that, but, that could have been done in a much nicer way. Maybe.
Melsy, this isn’t what I meant when I said I needed some time. I just, er. I needed to sort my head around the fact that I was actually doing a guy. I guess it honestly doesn’t matter? I mean, the parts are mostly the same in his, er, her race? Goddess, this is so messed up. Gah.
I dig through my hair in frustration as I go into my little hut.
Inside, there is my, no, our bed. The kitchen, with a mud stove. A small table for two. A bookshelf of nicknacks of all sorts that Melsy would bring home after hunting. An odd tooth, a dried mushroom. A neat knot from a tree. Some leaf with multiple stems.
In a lot of ways, she’s a curious and mischievous creature. I love that playful side of her. Always finding something to derive wonder from. It reminds me how small I am, when I consider that she is literally thousands of years old, and can still marvel at the world. I love that about her too.
I feel terrible. How could I push her away when she means so much to me? Who cares what gender she is. Well, maybe Dubhe cares. Actually, I suspect everyone just found out, from the way they all were ashen-faced when exiting the bath. Did the rest of them care?
Was it the surprise, though, or the gender itself?
I feel like we’re going to have something of an uphill battle with some of the extended family.
Come back, Melsy. Help me sort through this! I want us to be happy and together again.
Thinking that, I pick up the latest treasure she brought back: A piece of rock, rather, a fossil of some creature that doesn’t exist — according to her. I know better though. A fossil implies that it existed once upon a time.
It’s not a “fossil” in the typical sense, though. It’s a piece of green fiberglass woven with gold (or copper?) topped with black squares and thick, clear epoxy — a computer board.
Author’s Note: Thanks for the support! Dun, dun dun DUHHHHNNNN.