I open my mouth to confirm, then close it. This happens a few times, but I still hold onto Melsy. For some reason, I feel awkward all of a sudden.
I remember reading a book in High School Biology about how procreation works in some birds and reptiles. I had never thought of that before now. I just figured Melsy had her reasons. Do I still call her a her? Or a him? I mean… Does it matter?
This got really complicated, really fast. I’m not sure what to think. Er, well, I shouldn’t guess though. I probably should confirm.
“Melsy,” I pause. This is harder than I thought. “Are you a, er, boy?”
Melsy nods into my chest. Damnitall.
She’s so cute though. He’s so cute? Arg. What the. I love Melsy, right? This shouldn’t matter.
I just don’t know how to process this.
I’m not sure what to say.
We’ve been together for 2 years now. I shouldn’t let this ruin that. I say that in my head, but what have I been doing to Melsy all this time? Has he really been okay with that?
“I love you.” Melsy whispers to me, muffled by my shirt.
“Melsy, I love you too, but I need to figure this out, get it all right in my head. It isn’t really working right now.” Honesty policy, always fall back to being honest. “Can we go back to the village?”
Melsy shakes her head in my chest. His head? Goddess help me. What am I supposed to do?
Think. Let’s confirm how Melsy wants to proceed. “Uh, do you want me to keep calling you, er, her, and wife? Or do I call you, uh.” This is much harder than I thought. What would I call her? Would we be husband and husband? This is so strange.
Melusine snickers. Then she starts laughing. I can’t help but feel embarrassed. Did I say something wrong? I don’t want to mess this up. It doesn’t matter that she’s a he. I love her and she loves me.
“Hun, hun. Look, it doesn’t matter what you want to call me. I agreed to be your wife. I didn’t honestly think it would happen to be like this, since humes have such short lives. I figured you’d get bored of me and wander off to some real girl. (Editor’s Note: I think the most important lesson here is that Dubhe lost in attraction and girliness to someone born male) I love you, so you can call me whatever.” She’s laughing, and sniffling, and tears are pouring down her face, all at once. Clearly, she’s just as confused as me.
Well, maybe not quite.
I gently push her away. “Melsy. I don’t want to mess this up, so I would like you to give me some time to sort everything out. I want to be with you, but to do that, I need to put my mind in the right place.” I stop. I can see the horror on her face. No! No! I’m not telling you to go away! I just need some time! “Look, I don’t care, now, anymore? If you’re a guy. I just need to sort out my brain a bit. This has been a bit overwhelming.” I try smiling, but I know it’s probably not a good smile.
Melsy smiles back at me. She tries her best to look happy, but I can see her heart breaking. “I understand.”
Before I can do anything, she’s gone.
I messed up.
I had forgotten how fast she can be when she wants something. And now, she clearly wanted to be not-near-me.
I messed up!
I meander trudgingly back to the village.
Before I realize it, I’m back and near dusk.
“Tristain, where is Melsy?” Dubhe, not now. I can’t. I turn away and walk towards my hut.
“Tristain. Where is Melsy?”
I can feel my face flushing red hot, and my embarrassment boiling over. “I don’t know! OKAY?! I don’t know. I said I needed some time to get my mind straight, then she left!” I can feel my throat get tight and the tears that had been welling since Melsy left finally rolling out. “I don’t know!”
I’m such a mess, crying like a little kid. Goddess help me. A parent crying like a baby child. Earth to Tristain, pull it together! You have people to take care of!
I keep sobbing.
Author’s Note: Thanks for the support! I apologize in advance to those who are now disgruntled with me. Although, if you made it this far, then you probably know this type of twist is a bit par for the course.