Late release, sorry 🙁
“Well, well, well. What have we got here? It seems as though I’ve caught a beauty and a fool”, said the boss man from before.
“Oh hi Mark”, I replied.
“Wait what? My name’s not Mark.”
Rei and I are bound tightly with a long, T H I C C piece of rope.
Fuck…this isn’t my fetish.
It wasn’t long after my loud outburst of laughter that I was detained. It also didn’t help that immediately after I drew everyone’s attention, I ran to Rei and exposed her identity too. Even now, I could feel her staring daggers at me. It was reasonable for her to do so, but it still felt weird to have someone as stupid as Rei shaming me for screwing up. Nonetheless, our situation was dire, but I’m just glad they didn’t kill us.
We were taken to the room in the pub that looked like an office. It seems this was the room the boss was using as his private quarters. The building was abandoned, so the room was pretty dusty and the wooden walls were beginning to rot. Aside from Rei and I, the tattooed bandit was guarding us from behind and the boss man was standing in front of us, sneaking looks at Rei every now and then.
“You know, I’ve met a lot of idiots in my line of work, but you are by far the stupidest one I’ve come across”, said the boss man.
“Hey, my actions were perfectly reasonable. Besides, who wouldn’t laugh at a literal dickhead?” I replied.
“WHADDYA MEAN? IT’S A SYMBOL FOR COURAGE!” shouted the tattooed bandit.
“Say whatever you want, but you’re forever a dickhead to me.”
The boss man turns to Rei.
“Does this guy ever shut up?”
“I wish he did”, replied Rei
“You have my condolences.”
Rei and the boss man sighed at the same time.
Hey! I’m right here, you know? And why does she get the polite treatment?!
I looked at the boss man while fidgeting in place.
“Look man, can we cut to the chase? What are you gonna do with us? If you wanted us dead you would’ve killed us already, so what’s the big idea?” I said.
The boss man’s look of frustration disappeared and was replaced with a small smirk.
“I’m glad you asked. As you may have heard, I’m in a pretty good mood as of late, so killing a few intruders would just spoil the fun. Instead, I feel like I could use this opportunity.”
Uh oh, I don’t like where this is going…
“You see, I could just make you two into slaves right now and earn some extra gold, but money isn’t the only thing I’m interested in. I’m also quite fond of blood sports.”
Yeah, here it comes…
“So I’ll cut you a deal. I want you to have a deathmatch with one of my subordinates. If you manage to come out alive, I’ll let you and your little girlfriend go. How does that sound? Pretty generous, if I do say so myself.”
“I’m not his girlfriend!” exclaimed Rei.
Ouch, you didn’t have to insist so strongly…
This is just fan-freaking-tastic. I figured it would end up like this. See, this is exactly why I didn’t wanna come along on this mission. I knew I’d fuck something up and get myself into even deeper shit.
Jeez, how am I gonna get myself outta this one?
“I don’t suppose she could do the fighting for me?” I asked while nodding my head towards Rei.
Rei shoots me a cold stare, which I completely deserve considering the fact that I tried to sell her out.
Please forgive me. If we get outta here alive, I’ll grant you as many wishes as you want…eventually…
“Don’t be ridiculous. I would never let such a pretty little flower like her fight. That would be such a waste of good looks”, replied the boss man.
“She killed two of your men without a second thought,” I responded.
“I like a rose with thorns.”
His tastes were questionable. Never have I ever seen someone interested in real life yanderes, but whatever floats his boat, I guess. As for looks, I see that he is a man of culture as well. However, I prefer a woman who isn’t a complete moron.
The boss man focuses his attention to Rei.
“I’m sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Toby Marceau, the leader of the Amphibos Shadow Syndicate. May I ask what is your name?” he said.
“Rei, It is a pleasure to meet you. Worry not, I’ll be sure to treat you very nicely”, he said while smiling.
Jeez, this guy’s way creepier than I thought.
We were lead out of the pub with the boss man leading the way. A wave of jeers came from the crowd of people awaiting our arrival. They cleared a path for us to walk through and we slowly made our way to the forest just outside the abandoned outskirts of the city. When we arrived at the desired location, there was a large pit roughly 2 meters deep and 10 meters in diameter. Surrounding the pit were torches planted into the ground, illuminating the pitch black forest. It looked like a satanic gathering, and I was the sacrifice.
“Get yer ass in there! I’m gonna enjoy seeing you ripped to shreds”, said the tattooed bandit as he shoved me into the hole.
“No! Don’t shove me into the ASS hole!” I screamed.
I barely manage to land without getting hurt. A 2 meter fall is no joke, you know.
Welp, I guess this is the end…for the 3rd time today…
I looked up, expecting to see a huge, muscular man as my opponent, but the person standing before me was nothing of the sort. He had about the same height and build as me, and had short blonde hair that covered his eyes. His clothing wasn’t like that of the other bandits, who either kept their chest bare or wore sleeveless shirts. Instead, he wore long sleeves and pants as well as a pair of thick leather gloves.
Shit! It’s that guy who shot me with the arrow! I’m gonna enjoy this…
If I had to fight any of the other bandits I would’ve just played dead right from the beginning, but with a weak looking guy like him, I might actually win. With my newfound confidence I stroll towards the blonde bandit.
“Hey asshole, remember me?” I said.
The blonde bandit turned his head towards me. I couldn’t see where he was looking exactly, but I knew that he was checking me out, either to assess my physique, or just because he’s gay.
“You shoved a shaft inside me. Now while we’re in this ASS hole, I can return the favour”, I said.
That sounded a lot less gay in my head…
“I’m sorry, but who are you again?” said the blonde bandit.
“MOTHERFUCKER! YOU’RE DEFINITELY DEAD NOW!” I replied angrily.
The crowd continues to shout loudly, mostly comprised of insults and attempts to prod us into fighting.
Well if it’s a fight they want, it’s a fight they’ll-
At that moment, I was punched in the stomach. It happened so quickly I couldn’t even finish my thought. I quickly fell to the ground and started coughing strongly.
Jeez, what was that? Wasn’t he supposed to be weak?
“What’s wrong? You looked so confident a moment ago”, said the boss man while smiling.
He was standing at the edge of the pit looking down at us like the rest of the bandits.
He knew I’d underestimate my opponent. How dare he give me false hope!
“Better hurry up and get serious or my boy over there is gonna kill you”, he said.
“Heh, only if I die, that is”, I replied
With the power of god and anime (and Marvel references), I get back on my feet.
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