Rei went out to gather information, while I had a good time ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in my room. She went to the sketchy part of the city to gather information. Because I didn’t understand the common sense of this world, I would’ve just slowed her down if I went with her. Evening came quite quickly, and Rei finished with her info gathering.
“It seems the bandit group is called the Amphibos Shadow Syndicate”, said Rei.
“I see”, I replied.
Imma just call them the ASS.
“Apparently the founder was an Amphibos, hence the name”, said Rei.
I’m guessing the Amphibos are the frog people of this world. Is that why they have Pepe as their insignia?
“They’ve got some powerful people in their group, so we’ll have to be extra careful tonight”, said Rei.
I gave a reluctant nod as she gathered her stuff and prepared for the raid. She then pauses her preparation and turns to me.
“Before we continue, I just want to confirm one last time. Are you sure you’re ready to go along with the plan?”
Rei looked genuinely concerned for me, which is understandable, considering my complete ineptitude at taking care of myself. Furthermore, I still haven’t told her about my unwillingness to join her, but I’m afraid that if I say something now, it would jeopardize her willingness to help. I guess I’ll just have to suck it up.
“Sure, let’s suit up”, I declared.
Yaaasssss… Marvel references are awesome.
I went into the washroom, I washed my face, took a little leak, and adjusted my tracksuit.
That looked cooler in my head.
I was wearing the same clothes as when I arrived, so I stood out a lot. But I was too introverted to go out to buy clothes, so I just stuck with my green tracksuit, like every other isekai protagonist. Besides, green is my favorite color, and it’s not too common here.
Rei gave me a standard brown cloak, and we nonchalantly walked out of the inn and to the west of the city. Night life in the city was very busy, despite there being very limited artificial lighting.
“It seems they settled in Geto Cona not to long ago. It should be near the outskirts”, said Rei.
“Alright, let’s sneak into the ASS”, I said.
“Vincento, the way you say tha-”
“I know what I said.”
As we made our way to the outskirts of the city, there were fewer and fewer people in the area. The buildings started to look sketchier and the people around the area gave me the stink-eye. I’m really starting to regret my decision to come along.
“Ignore them, Vincento. Those are not the people we’re looking for”, said Rei.
“Yeah, yeah, Obi Wan”, I replied.
Rei sounded stern, most likely due to the how serious our situation was. When the moon was high in the night sky, we arrived at our destination. I was creeped out by our destination, as all I saw were abandoned buildings. There wasn’t a single trace of any life in the vicinity.
Shit…I might’ve peed myself.
I fought the urge to whip out my fidget spinner.
“If my information is correct, they should be in that building”, said Rei.
She points to a large building that seems to have been an old pub. Two watchmen were standing in front of the entrance.
Yikes, those guys are loud. I can hear their voices even from here.
“Before we go in, take these”, said Rei.
Rei hands me the Pepe pendant from before, as well as a 2 cm by 2cm medal with a rose insignia on it.
The pendant is for helping us sneak in, but the medal…
“I understand what the pendant is for, but what’s this rose insignia?” I asked.
Rei blushes and looks away from me.
“I-It’s my family’s crest… it’s a tradition in my home country to give it to those who face hardship, as a sign of good fortune”, replied Rei bashfully.
Her act of good will made my heart skip a beat. It felt like it was about to melt.
OMFG she’s so moe I’m gonna die…
“Thank you. I’ll gladly accept your wish of good fortunes”, I said.
“Yeah…you’ll need it.”
We headed towards the pub. The people on guard looked at the pendants we held up.
“You’re late. You guys were supposed to arrive ten minutes ago”, said one of the watchmen.
“Don’t blame me, this fucker was taking a leak”, said Rei.
Woah, I’ve never heard Rei speak so rudely before. What a great act.
The watchmen seemed to have bough the act and let us into the pub. It was poorly lit and very crowded. The smell of alcohol in the air was strong, and the previous festive banter became exponentially louder. It seems we came at just the right time, as someone at the front of the bar called everyone’s attention.
“Alright, listen up you lackeys! I got a special announcement to make”, said the guy at the bar.
The man had long hair, a lanky body, and spoke a weird accent.
He kinda reminds me of Tommy Wiseau, that guy who directed The Room.
“I’m in a good mood today. Our haul today was massive, and the infiltration of the Georgian church was a success. If we keep up this progress, we’ll be living like kings in no time!” shouted the boss man.
A wave of cheers came from the crowd. They were so loud my eardrums almost shattered.
“But for now, let us celebrate. DRINK TO YOUR HEART’S’ CONTENT!”
Axn even louder cheer from before came, which I didn’t think was possible.
The lively mood from before returned in the blink of an eye as we walked around the pub looking for information on where my glove is. Rei was already on the job, moving quick enough to have me lose sight of her. Eventually I was lost in the crowd.
Shit…okay, I just gotta find Rei, no biggie. It’s all good.
No way in hell am I gonna talk to these thugs alone.
I see Rei talking to a pair of drunk bandits, then rush to get to her side.
Ok things are fine now…just don’t fuck up from now on…
On my way towards Rei, I bump into a guy and made him spill his drink.
“Hey! Watch it asshole!”, said the guy.
YOU HAD ONE JOB! ONE JOB!
I look up at the man who looks like he’s about to pound my face in. I’m only 160 cm tall, so literally everyone in this room, including Rei, was taller than me. I felt intimidated the moment I stepped into the room, and this just made it a lot worse.
“Sorrymasen! Are you daijokay?” I responded.
I used my wapanese to make him think I was a foreigner, but that didn’t work. He kept pressuring me with his gaze.
Fuck! Social activity, my one weakness…
The drunk dude looks me over, then ponders to himself.
“Hey, haven’t I seen you somewhere before?” said the drunk dude.
“Nononononono, you must be mistaken, this is the first time we’ve me-”
I cut myself off as I realized who this drunk bandit was. He was the tattooed bandit that attacked me in the forest. That realization sent distress signals to my brain. I panicked as I looked at him while shaking.
I was prepared to just book it right then and there, but then I caught a look at the tattoo over his left eye and my distress completely faded.
“HUH? WHAT’S SO FUNNY?” said the tattooed bandit.
I tried to stifle my laughter, but I couldn’t hold it in for long. Eventually my will broke completely.
“PFFFFTAAAAAHAHHAHAHA! LOOK AT THIS DUDE! LOOK AT THE TOP OF HIS HEAD! AHAHAHAH!”
All eyes were on me, but that didn’t stop me from absolutely losing my shit. It may have been immature of me to laugh at it in retrospect, but I honestly couldn’t help it in the moment.
He had the characters ちんちん tattooed on his head. (actual TL note: it’s the characters for dick, ie. chinchin)
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