They May Have Come To Different Worlds, But They’re Not The Hero – Heroes Don’t Get Food Poisoning……..Probably

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(AN: A Wild Chapter Appears. As usual comment below. If you have an idea you think would be a good random adventure for our dear Enforcer, please comment your idea.)

 

You know, there’s one thing I can’t seem to stand in isekai stories that gets brushed off to the side. Almost always accepted and rarely talked about. This is something that’s barely explored properly. And the sheer amount of convenience for the protagonist to luckily find a similar version of it.

That’s right…I’m talking about food.

In general in isekai stories, the protagonist on their adventure in the other world, will soon locate foods that are similar tasting to their old world. The cultures on that world will have similar tastes and such to their old world. And eventually the food revolution will happen once the protagonist is able to cook up a food they like the most from the old world. Even if there’s a lack of the standard cooking apparatuses and utensils, they’ll still somehow be able to do it.

Reality is much, much crueler than you think it is.

This is what I’m talking about. Here on this other world, I arrived because of a report about a small number of “Displaced” sent to this other world. Since it was a small group instead of an individual, this was given highest priority on the mission list. We quickly rushed here on the Kaguya and tried to make it in time.

Obviously, we weren’t. We were already too late since a few days had passed when we got wind of it and more time spent on traveling. The group of “Displaced” ate what food they could find, being the types that lacked the ability to endure hunger. Be it fruits or something that looked familiar that was found in the forest they were stuck in. They should be more careful but hunger does things to people after a day or so.

By the time I arrived to where the group was…it was terrible. I had to look at them with a feeling of sympathy, though the scene before me made me think this was the destined end result of their actions. So I was little conflicted which way to feel.

“I-It hurts…why? It was…only an apple.”

There was one cry of pain, a poor guy with his arms wrapped around his stomach suffering from a stomachache, from the way he squirmed it was probably a bad one. I looked at the remains of this “apple” and noticed the super sweet scent it gave off.

This probably wasn’t an apple… I could only think, as the sweet smell was really strong. One of the reasons why food in isekai stories is impossible over half the time is the amount of coincidences needed to be similar to food on Earth. One of the reasons why we try to get to these people quickly is if they do eat food from the other world. They might get food poisoning or suffer bad effects.

The person here was lucky with just a stomachache. He was lucky the food wasn’t infused with mana. Those foods would be really bad for a normal average human. Mana poisoning was no joke, there’s so many things that could go wrong with that.

“No, get away from me! Pervert!”

“Someone help us!”

Hmm? I looked around and saw two women being chased by a man who seemed to have lost all reason. Now that I got a better look at him, there was an unusual amount of drool coming from his mouth. Maybe he….no, he definitely ate something bad.

I rushed over, gave him a kick to the side and had him crash away from the women. He got up, laughing like a madman, his mouth still drooling a lot. Whatever this guy ate made him ignore pain and caused him to lose all reason.

“What did he eat?! Someone tell me quick!”

The two women were hiding behind me as one of them spoke.

“He…he ate some kind of berries.”

I don’t believe this. Just because it looks like a berry doesn’t mean it’s safe! Even animals would be more cautious about it! I sighed as I turned to the women.

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle this. I’ll knock him out quickly.”

The women backed away from me, I turned back to the drooling guy and rushed towards him from the front. My right hand filled with lightning magic as I dodged his sudden flailing of his arms, went around him and slammed the lightning magic into the back of his neck. He convulsed once before collapsing.

I watched him carefully to see if he would get back up, but he looked like he was sleeping now. I lowered my guard breathing out a sigh.

“Phew….he’s out for now.”

“T-Thank you so much.”

“Is there anything I can do to repay you?”

“Ah, no, I’m just doing my job. I was sent here to rescue you.”

“Oh! Please let me repay you when we get back!”

“Ah! No fair!”

[“Enforcer Kanzaki.”]

I flinched suddenly at the voice that rang in my ear. I know that voice and I know that tone. How closely was she watching me?

[“Today, we’re going to have a long talk.”]

The transmission cut off suddenly and I felt like I was sweating bullets. I looked at the two women and waved to them.

“I have to check on the others so excuse me. Please stay here for now.”

I quickly escaped and tried to find the remaining people left. I went to find others and ran into someone one desperately scratching himself over and over again. He had red-purple rashes all over his body and he was completely trying to get rid his severe need to itch by scratch. What did he eat?

“Hey, this is probably a reaction to what you ate. What did you eat?”

“It was…”

He paused to scratch his back desperately. It must have been really bad to make him fully focus on it..

“…some nuts…”

He paused again to scratch his arms this time.

“…I found near a tree.”

He finally finished and continued his random scratching of his rashes. I could only look at him in worry cause his skin was really red and purple now. There was something I remember reading about in the history of 21st century Earth. Something about peanut allergy warning, though if I remembered correctly, the allergies from that were worse. I guess this reaction is close?

“I’ll be back and we’ll help you out. Try to endure as best you can.”

He nodded, and tried to stop, but he eventually went back to scratching his rashes again. The poor guy, hopefully he doesn’t start bleeding when I leave.

After counting him, there were only a two more people left. I wonder where they went though since I hadn’t seen them. If most of the group was here, where were those two. I quickly did a preliminary search and couldn’t find a sign of them.

“Arataka, do you detect the two I need to find?”

[TWO LIFESIGNS LOCATED FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY SIX METERS TO THE EAST.]

Why were those two so far away? Were they searching for food? I went in that direction wondering what could those two be doing. Along the way I found remnants of some kind of pink fruit here and there. It was a trail but I had to be sure it was from them.

“Arataka, I need my visor.”

[VISOR MODE, SETTING UP.]

The blue tinted clear visor glasses appeared on my face as I looked at the remains of the pink fruit. Based on the analysis, what ate the fruit was human so I was going in the right direction. I followed the trail and ended up wondering how much further they went when I heard one particularly loud–

“AAAAAHHHHH!!!!”

That was a guy’s voice….was that in pain or was that in pleasure………or was that both? No, no, don’t think about it. It’ll be bad if I think about it.

I reluctantly continued walking and came upon two sleeping people. One was a woman with a face full of glee, hugging a bunch of pink fruits from somewhere. The other was a guy with his face in the ground, his rear in the air. And in his rear….was something that looked like a long shaped fruit.

“…………..”

What happened here? No….better not ask. Much better to never acknowledge this. I quietly sighed with a horrible headache. I tapped the device in my ear and hoped she was in a better mood.

“This is Enforcer Kanzaki. I found all the targets. Get ready to transport once I placed the beacons on them and have the medical team look after them. I think they’re having bad food reactions. Maybe one, no, two might have food poisoning or food allergy.”

[“Understood. Are you okay? You sound tired.”]

“I just have a bad headache. I’ll ask for some medicine later.”

I took out a small case from my uniform, there were a set of identical pins that were in it. These pins offered more precision than normal teleporting when I wasn’t near the targets. I took two out to take care of sleeping pair before heading back  to the rest to tag them. I didn’t wait or watch them but the flash of light told me they were successfully transported. I also tagged the two others with the bad reactions first when I returned to the group. The two women from earlier asked for my name, I told them my name but most likely they’ll never remember it.

I mean, their memories of this are going to be wiped so there’s no way they’ll remember me. It’s standard protocol after all. Though, those two seemed normal when I got here. They did have to eat something considering the number of days they were here. Maybe they were compatible to this world’s food?

When I got back to the ship, Reika seemed to be in a weirdly good mood for some reason. Though, when she told me she volunteered to assist in helping the “Displaced” with the memory wiping procedure. I could only guess what she did first.

The two of us went back towards our assigned room as she was humming. I couldn’t help but be curious.

“Reika, why are you in such a good mood?”

“Oh, I cooked up a new recipe today. It came out pretty good.”

“Ah…Reika, I got paperwork to do, so…”

“We’re going to have that long talk, Hayate.”

“…Okay……”

Reika cooking new recipes is a fifty-fifty chance. Is it going to be good or bad this time? My mind went back to those two women from earlier. They seemed to be completely okay while on the other world. Did they have iron stomachs or something?

Unfortunately, I don’t have that lucky trait. Reika’s new recipe today looked and tasted good but…I’ll leave the rest to the imagination on what happened afterwards.

They May Have Come To Different Worlds, But They're Not The Hero - I'm Not A Hero. I'm Just Doing My Job