Domo-domo~ Virtual YouTuber, AAA desu~.
Or maybe not. Teehee~
Anyway, today I’m going to clear a dungeon without any preparations at all. In other words, naked!
Of course, not that kind of naked. I properly wear my clothes. What I meant by naked was challenging a dungeon solely with my own flesh and blood.
And clothes, yeah, that too.
I am also not in possession of any Skills nor Magic. Just using my head to make my way through.
It’s okay if you don’t believe me, I’ll show you my Stats anyway.
It’s as you can see, I’m your run of the mill villager. My MND is sure higher than most people, but if I hadn’t that much of courage, I wouldn’t be a daredevil who challenge a single dungeon all alone. Gyahaha!
Dungeons are the nest for monsters and an Elephant’s graveyard at the same time. It’s a place where you can be a Sultan overnight, if you were lucky that is. However, with my low luck stats, that’s impossible.
Umu, nai wa.
But does that discourage me from clearing this dungeon solo? Nope, not at all. Rather, it fires me up to no end.
And so, the dungeon I challenged today is a nameless elder dungeon for the beginners.
Elder dungeon means it’s an old dungeon which hasn’t died yet. A dungeon dies when it no longer produces treasures and the monsters within gush out and occurred a monster outbreak.
The cause is unknown, and it’s very random. A young dungeon could die the very day it borns, and an old dungeon might last for eternity.
And beginner dungeon practically explains itself, a dungeon for beginners. It has low-level monsters, a small amount to no traps at all, and few floors.
They usually have been cleared by a group of adventures and hold a really teeny amount of treasures to sow. They’re used to train new adventures, mercenaries, or soldiers due to how low their danger lever is.
Even I won’t challenge the impossible out of the blue.
Well, there’s actually another reason to why I chose a beginner dungeon, but you’ll see it later.
Ah, and about the dungeon’s name. You see, a named dungeon is a dungeon that personally created by the gods as a trial for mankind, or so it seems. Out of the 77 named dungeons, only Forcas the Hell Knight Dungeon and Furtur the Liar Dungeon that have been cleared.
Challenging any of them naked like the way I’m doing it now technically mean suicide.
Well, it’s not like what I’m doing not dangerous though.
Beginner or not, old or young, a dungeon is a dungeon after all. Any wrong step and I’ll die in a trench somewhere. If I’m fortunate enough, someone might find me and I’ll be known as an idiot who challenged a dungeon without any proper preparation. If I’m not, well … maybe I’d turn into an undead small fry and end up as some adventurer’s EXP point.
Umu, nai wa. Totally nai wa.
However, that’s the price of what I’m doing right now, and I’m fully aware of it.
Anyway, what’s in front of me right now is the first room of the dungeon. From what I observed, it contains 3 goblins and a single treasure chest. It really has the smell of rookies there. Like, “Hey, if you can’t singlehandedly clear this room you better stop being an adventurer!” or something like that.
First, the enemy.
Three ordinary goblins. They wield rusted swords. I don’t know what are they doing here. Maybe patrolling. Well, since many people raid this dungeon and invade their home, I guess that’s what they really do.
It means that if I let any of them flee, I’ll have to face a whole village of goblins all on my own. Since they’ll call for backups to fight me with all they have.
Uwaah, that’s scary to even think about.
Okay, the surrounding.
I can spot 6 torches lit inside the square room ahead, two on each wall. But I believe there’s another pair on my side of the wall. I can’t see them directly from my position, but I could see the light they emit.
And in the middle of the room, a single treasure is placed. It’s the first treasure you can find, and also the first trap that would most likely kill you. It’s so conspicuous I don’t think anyone would ever fall to that.
But, well, dumb people are everywhere. News of them being killed by their overgrown greed never ends.
Mattaku, yare yare daze.
There’s nothing else that come into my field of view. So, I guess I’ll take my action now.
First of all … let’s take off my belt.
What, you think I’ll give you a fanservice now? Of course not, you ecchi!
The enemies are in possession of weaponry. Facing them barehanded is just seeking death. From what I currently have, the only thing I can use as a weapon is my belt. It’s also the only thing that has metal on it. I can use it as a whip, a rope, or even deflect their attacks using it. It may not do anything, but it’s better than nothing.
With a pair of slightly loose pants on me, I go out of my hiding.
Alarmed by my presence, the three goblins screech and run towards me.
If they’re clever enough, at least one of them should retreat and report to their base about me. But, well, they’re goblins after all.
Or maybe they’re just underestimating me since I’m alone and not holding any weapon?
Either way, it’s good for me.
My first action to go against them is… desperately trying to take off the torches that attached to the wall.
Wow, I look like an idiot.
But there are still roughly 8 meters between us, so I should be safe for now.
Escaping the reality for a bit, dungeons are a place shrouded with mysteries no one could explain.
How do they produce precious metals out of dirt and soil? Why there are many kinds of monsters living inside them? For what purpose were they created? Etcetera, etcetera.
Amongst the mysteries, one that particularly took my interest is the torch. They’re lit inside a room below ground for many centuries, yet they never ran out of air nor fuel. And they’re proved to be able to be taken out of their handle. Though, like many other dungeon mysterious items, you can’t bring them out of their respective dungeons.
Finally, I took it off.
Hastily as I am, I point the torch to the goblins that rushed toward me. In a heartbeat, they halt and even back down.
Even goblins are living beings. There’s no creature which doesn’t fear the might of fire.
Huahahaha, fear me! For I am the Fire Lord!
With a belt on my right hand and a torch on my left, and wearing a pair of slightly loose pants even, what kind of fire lord I am. The Phoenix King sure will be disappointed in such a fire lord.
Enough with the jokes, I proceed to the next torch and place it on my right hand, while the belt is warped around my arm. And now, I have two torches on me.
Dual Fire Lord!
Ahem. Using one of the torches, I attack the goblins as if I was using a wooden bat and circle them. Of course, with me being a villager who has no particular fighting experience, I can’t land any heavy blows. Save for the fatal ones. But, light as it might, it still gives them a good burn.
Of course, I couldn’t parry their counter either, but it should be good enough now.
I throw my right torch to them before they easily avoid it. While they’re focused on it, I attack them with my belt, using it as a whip.
They wanted to counter me, but I keep them in check with my other torch.
They can’t keep close to me, their swords’ range is limited, but I have my whip (belt) with me.
Ufufu … ahahaha! I’m invincible!
So I whip my belt again, but it stuck on the treasure chest lid that lays between us instead.
I think I can see them laughing, as they come rushing straight towards me with their rusty weapons in hand, ready to reap my life with it.
Ah, I see … so this is where it ends …
………………… This is where my waiting ends.
With everything that I have, I pulled my belt that stuck on the chest to open it, triggering the already prepared mechanism within, and unleash the poisoned darts which stored inside and let them attack whatever that stands on their way.
In other words, the three idiots (goblins).
Heh. Omae wa mou shindeiru.
They might be the residents of this dungeon, but that doesn’t mean they’re immune to the traps here.
And so, while watching them convulsing in the death’s door, I take their weapon and kill them one by one.
Really, I’m so glad they’re idiots to no end. They win in number, win in weapons, and even win in the environmental familiarity. If they make use of any of them, I’ll lose straight away. But they’re idiots. And that’s that.
First task, done.
I turn my heel toward the treasure chest. Here’s the list of the items inside.
- Rookie Sword.
- Rookie Armor Set.
- 2 Small HP Potions.
- 10 golds.
- Dimensional pocket.
This is the other reason why I choose a beginner dungeon. The items that you could never find in any other dungeons except the beginner ones!
The newbie equipment gear!
They’re trash items that anyone with a better equipment in hand would cast them away without the second thought!
Their durability is so low that 10 slashes after using it and the sword will break! And the armor couldn’t withstand more than 10 attacks! What a trash! No, treasure!
This is! The treasure! That I want!
And, yeah, the potions too, I guess. Thankfully I wasn’t hurt from the last battle, but being prepared is better than not at all.
What? Did you just say something about me challenging the dungeon without any preparation? You can forget that.
And the dimensional pocket. It’s very helpful. You can carry visually anything with it without being burdened by the weight. But its slot is very limited, so I’ll only save my most precious treasures in there.
Like my freshly obtained sword and armor.
I beg your pardon? Did you just ask why would I store my finally obtained equipment instead of wearing it? Because they’re my treasure, naturally!
Baka desu ka? Baka desu ne? Baka desu yo ne?
An advice from me. Don’t be an idiot or you’ll end up like those goblins.
Really, youngsters these days.
Which weapon will I use, then, you ask? Why of course, they’re here already. Provided by the generous goblins. Their beloved rusted swords, the none other.
No, they’re not swords. They’re scraps.
Well, it’s not like I have any other equipment in my hand.
Un, un. None at all. It can’t be helped.
And so, let’s store the newbie equipment gear into the dimensional pocket and head to the next room.
Huh, the golds? There isn’t any madman who would open their stores inside the dungeon, so why would I bother to collect them?
Well then, let’s go! To the next Room!
What do you think the most intriguing part of the dungeons? The hidden treasures? Of course, you’d go to those golden stashes. But not for me. I think what’s so interesting about dungeons is that they could perfectly sustain lives.
Except for undead dungeons, you can find any basic life necessities inside the dungeon. There’s an unlimited amount of fresh air gushing out from the walls. There are actually living vegetation despite the lack of sunlight. You also could find some drinkable water source if you know how to.
You can actually, theoretically, completely live inside the dungeon from birth to death without meeting the sky at all for the whole lifetime.
The dungeon in itself is already a perfectly balanced ecosystem. With such a rich resource, a shelter from rain and wind, and even the already provided mechanisms to obliterate intruders, you can easily say it’s a free real estate.
It’s no wonder, so many monsters make their nest here.
However, just like any social creatures, monsters make their own group and bash the others. And, different from mankind, they can’t converse with each other and would never reach an agreement. That’s why when monsters of different nature, take goblins and kobolds, for example, are waging a war, they’ll go all out until either of them perish.
And that’s precisely what I’ve been doing.
Naturally, I couldn’t always rely on an undependable method such as killing monsters using the already laid traps. There’s also a possibility of it would backlash at me instead. That’s why I use other variable methods to survive.
Like, kidnapping a kobold child and kill it inside the goblins’ nest for one.
The kobolds, like the dog they are, would sniff the lingering scent of blood and attack the goblins in my stead.
So, when one of them perished, the other will be exhausted enough for me to kill them single-handedly.
Killing two birds with one stone.
Or killing two tribes with one kid? Either way, it ended well.
Though it didn’t end up good for my titles.
Title: The Despicable One, Prankster, Devil’s Minion, Monster’s Calamity, Shameless Intruder
Earth Magic – Stump
The Nightless Crown
Gloves of the thief
Faint Spirit Sword
Gloves of the thief
Horned Turtle’s Shell
Dimensional pocket x 12
I can’t believe they called me a shameless intruder. It’s already the ethic to knock a door before you open it, isn’t it?
Though maybe knocking it down with a falling huge rock was a little bit too much.
Anyway, even in the dungeons, there’s only one room that different from the rest. It’s a closed room with a big door guarding it. Once you go inside, you can never see the sunlight ever again unless you defeat the monster who resides within.
Yes. The Boss’ room.
One thing to take a note from the boss’ room, is that it’s mysteriously built that it’ll be empty, devoid of any presence, until you stepped inside and saw the boss appears right in front of you.
Another thing is, even if the door was opened, anyone who’s inside could never go outside due to the barrier that enveloped the whole room. Conversely, you can go inside when someone is facing the boss to help them. However, there aren’t any projectiles, physically or magically, that could pass through the barrier, so you won’t be able to attack the boss from a safe range.
That also means that as long as I’m still outside, I won’t be able to do anything to the boss without stepping in.
Or, supposed to be like that.
That’s why I’ve been spending my time to make some preparations. Challenging a dungeon without any preparation is foolish.
Wait, did you just say something about me? You didn’t, did you?
What’s sitting inside these bulky dimension pockets are torches that I have been ravaged since the start of the challenge and a certain vine that the goblins cultivate in their villages.
First I take out a pot and fill it with water. Then I take a torch and put its fire out using the prepared water.
A fire is, in the end, a fire. It’ll die out when it meets water. Though, magically, it’ll light up again a minute after it dries.
When the fire is out, I hastily entwine the torch’s head with the vine I foraged then throw it into the boss’ room.
I repeat the process until only one torch left for my own use.
The room is now filled with smokes … not, since the dungeon’s ceiling is absorbing the rising smoke and the floor releases fresh air in exchange, keeping the air inside the room clean for the time being.
For the time being, that is.
My next step is to throw a goblin child I abducted, I mean, I took along into the room and make the boss appears.
After the goblin landed inside the room, a sharp sound creaks and a veil of light envelopes the whole room. Soon after, out of thin air, a single monster appears.
Its appearance is hideous. It has a pair of long tusk sprouting out of its lower jaw. Its belly bulges excessively. Despite that, its limbs are big and solid. In its grasp, an enormous single bladed sword is being held. Its skin looks so thick and ugly.
I see, a Hideous Troll huh. Just like its name, it has a hideous look. It’s a B class monster. Very appropriate as a boss for beginners. You can see them loitering around in an advanced dungeon as a small fry, though.
But, man, it’s troubling.
Trolls have a high regeneration rate. It’ll take a long time for the sedation to take effect.
What sedation I’m talking about, you ask? Are you really that stupid? The vines of course.
Goblins tend to cultivate herbs that have a sedating effect. They use it to paralyze their preys before killing it. They usually smear it onto their blades or shoot it using a blowpipe. That’s why I’ve been cautious when facing them. Only fools who would face them with nothing but a belt in their hand.
Thankfully I’m not that kind of a fool.
Umu, not in the slightest bit.
Oh, are you asking about the poisonous smoke now? Do I really have to explain it to you?
I have certainly told you, haven’t I? When someone enters the room, the barrier that envelops it will never let anything out of the room. Means? The ceiling won’t absorb the smoke, while the floor will keep releasing fresh air to keep the torch lit.
Honto, baka desu ne.
Well, as long as I’m out here the boss can’t attack me, so I guess I’ll have to go to abduct another kid or two. I’m afraid the first child will die out of suffocation before the troll does if I didn’t do it.
Well then, Troll-kun. Ganbare! Don’t die before I kill you okay!
The sedative finally takes a visible effect.
Really, you can’t underestimate a troll’s regeneration ability.
I don’t know how many goblins have died in its (my) devilish hand. Poor, poor goblins. May your souls rest in peace.
From the looks of it, the Troll is already collapsed and no longer hold any consciousness. Seems like it’s a high time for me to take action.
Without any hesitation, I stepped into the boss’ room.
The boss may be just playing dead, but it’s okay. I’m not afraid in the slightest. Why, you ask? I wear my treasured equipment gear after all!
The trash armor that could only withstand 10 attacks, the rookie armor set! And in my hand, I have the sword that could only unleash 10 slashes before it breaks, the rookie sword! With these two, I’m invincible!
Uhehehe, I can end anyone in this room with a single swing. I’m unstoppable.
Technically, I have conquered this whole dungeon all alone.
But, no. There’s no fun in it.
What I want, what I seek, is not something as measly as this.
That’s why I turn my heel… and attack the barrier from the inside.
Sure, the rookie sword only has low ATK and limited to 10 slashes alone. However, it has its own unique wonder. Believe it or not, there’s nothing that you can’t cut using it. It’s the absolute blade that nothing in the whole 9 worlds that could stop.
One of the most popular theory says that they were deliberately made like that so the beginners could attack their enemy, no matter how weak they actually are.
Of course, rather than a sword that only have a small damage, you’d rather have a stronger weapon that could kill the enemy in a single swing right?
That’s why no one wants to bother to collect rookie swords, despite it being an absolute blade that could cut anything and everything.
Now, don’t you want to see what will happen if the absolute attack meets the absolute defense? Which one will yield, the sword or the barrier?
Unsurprisingly, the sword bounces back. However, the counter that the barrier released soon after sure makes me shocked.
It was an attack that was strong enough to decapitate even an ancient dragon. However, I receive it with ease. Thanks to my rookie armor set.
I’m sorry barrier-kun. You’re not the only one who has the absolute defense here. Though mine only lasts for 10 rounds.
Despite being an absolute defense, just like its counterpart, rookie armor set is also unpopular.
Sure, it could stop anything that approaches it. But it’s so delicate that if you stumbled even a little it’s durability will drop. You can’t sell it in the stores since it’ll be useless when you showcase it. It’s common sense to wear it soon after you obtain it.
That’s why both of them are my most precious treasure.
Huh, then how did I preserve them so perfectly until now? That’s a S.E.C.R.E.T.
Naturally, I repeat the process. I attack the barrier, the barrier attacks me, then I attack back, then it attacks me back.
After seven times of giving and taking, I stop my very productive action and take a deep breath.
Finally, all the necessary steps are done.
Say, what’s the difference between a young dungeon and an elder dungeon again? Yes, the age they have.
From here on, I’ll tell you a confidential theory unknown to the public.
Every dungeon in the whole world is actually connected to the 77 named dungeons. The ones with a weak connection will die faster, and conversely, the ones with a strong connection will last.
They say if you managed to attack the barrier for seven times the dungeon will contact its parent to seek for help. Because there’s a being stronger than the Dungeon’s creator who placed the barrier there.
Once that happens, the true boss, one of the 77 Dungeon rulers, will personally come out to take care of it.
And apparently, the theory proves to be true.
A single man descends from the heavens. He has the fairest feature I have ever seen. A perfectly balanced face, a pair of eyes with a wise approach, and a single great horn that grows on his forehead.
His presence alone puts me under an interminable pressure. The smoke that was clouding the room cleared in a single moment.
『Son of Adam, descendant of the hateful Abimelech, art thou one who perturben our peace?』
「A Duke class Ancient Demon, The Usurped Patron God of Canaan, Baal Berith. Man, I don’t know am I lucky or not.」
I only have 3 slashes left.
I can do it.
「Lord Berith, I’ll be the one who devours you!」
『Thee shall knoweth thine sins.』
With those words as the preamble, we, a single human and an ancient demon, clash our respective fangs.
An unknown amount of time passed.
Inside the initially empty room, stood a single androgynous man.
『I see. So this is the 【Truth】.』
His voice was clear and soft, yet charismatic to no end.
『Berith, dearest soul friend of mine. Let me be the one who brings you justice.』
With a flick of his finger, an army of wraiths appeared out of thin air.
『Now, why don’t we conquer the zeroth named dungeon, Solomon(The World)?』