Kumo desu ga, Nani ka? 326

The Evil Overlord List meets reality.

326 – Failing to be awarded “Worst Game of the Year”

Arghhhh! Dammit all! She really got me! I thought that she might do something, but she sure did interfere in a big way. Well, from D’s point of view I guess it wouldn’t have been too interesting if things had continued as they were. So this result is within expectations. It’s within expectations, but it’s not like it doesn’t piss me off though. “I’m gonna punch you now! I’ll punch you!” – if someone said that to you, took a stance and then actually hit you, well, obviously it would hurt and piss you off wouldn’t it.

It would have been ideal for me to be able to take secret manoeuvres behind the scenes and achieve results directly. Well, in short, it would be my win if I could smash the System before anybody could realise what I was doing. The System would have already collapsed by the time people had noticed, but well, in the aftermath they’d be dying like crazy though the world and the Goddess would be saved instead. From the point of view of humanity suffering enormous damage it would be an outrageous disaster that occured without any sort of advance warning, but for me that would be the easiest as there’d be no opposition.

However, would D actually allow such a situation? No chance. That was a rhetorical question. Consider this as a game where the Last Boss performs secret manoeuvres and the protagonist doesn’t get any hints or realise that something is wrong and then suddenly it becomes Game Over. That would be a shitty game. At least give a hint that “Somewhere unknown, the Last Boss is performing secret manoeuvres! You better prevent that else it’d be bad!” That way the protagonists could rise up to crush the Last Boss’s plans! No matter how you look at it, if a scenario is created with a time limit but no hint of that and that if you go adventuring in an unrelated area you’ll quickly reach Game Over, then that wouldn’t be viable as a game.

However, from the point of view of the Last Boss, doing things that way would obviously be easier. Why the heck should you go out of your way to give hints to a potential antagonist? It’s obviously better to keep quiet and perform those secret manoeuvres. I think games overly disadvantage the villain.

In addition, even if this world has status values and other game-like elements it’s still reality. So, there’s no need to actually treat it like a game, right? Secret manoeuvres, secret manoeuvres. Muhaha, by the time it’s noticed it’s already too late!

Well, that’s what I’d wanted to do at least. This world is no game. However, for gods it is basically a game board. In terms of being a nuisance to others. As such, the conditions are fulfilled for this to be a viable game.

Now then. If we take it that I am the game’s Last Boss, then who are the powers that are hostile to me? Firstly, the pope. The pope will take action for the sake of the people and especially for the humans amongst them. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to call him “The Guardian of the People”. Considering that I am attempting to bring harm upon the people, he will certainly be hostile to me. It would be futile to try to persuade him otherwise. Consider that the Demon King herself admitted that mentally he is a monster – it’s impossible that he would lose his nerve. Even an old man with a long history of being stubborn would be more likely to listen.

What’s troublesome about the pope, in addition to the fact that he’ll absolutely be hostile, is that he has one of the Ruler skills – Temperance. In the System’s hidden menu, Ruler Authority is one of the keys required to trigger the collapse of the System. With how I am now, it’s not like I couldn’t force open that key with brute strength. However, it’s also the case that I can’t predict what downsides there would be that if I did that. Therefore, if I want to play it safe, then I want to gain control over all the Ruler Authorities. Considering that one of those is in enemy hands, it’s troublesome in the extreme. In order to gain the Ruler Authority of Temperance, I either have to persuade the pope to hand it over, or otherwise I have to eliminate him. So, like I’ve been saying, since it’ll be impossible to persuade him, well, that settles the pope’s future.

The other one who will certainly take a hostile stance, is Balto. Until now, he has been serving as the Demon King’s aide all this time. Surprised? Not particularly. Balto has been working himself to the bone for the sake of the demons. Their course of action has been different, but he has something in common with the pope and also Argnar who likewise struggled hard for the sake of the demons. Balto obeyed the Demon King because he had determined that it was the best option for the demons. Rather than becoming hostile to the absolute threat that was the Demon King, he simply accommodated her so that the demons would be spared from the brunt of her attack. Considering that the existence of the demons now hangs in the balance, he would likely resolve himself to be hostile to me as the one causing that. After all, this is the same Balto who made the difficult decision that it was better to go to war with the humans while suffering great casualties and survive, rather than challenge the Demon King and be annihilated. It might have caused a huge hole in his stomach though.

Finally, the biggest problem, Kuro. He might be a loser but he’ll likely be hostile to me. After all, what I am attempting to do is against the wishes of the Goddess who is the person we’re trying to save. Since Kuro is only living for the sake of that Goddess, it shouldn’t be possible for him to go against the Goddess’s desires.

Hrmm. That’s true. The trickiest problem is that Goddess, actually. Despite the fact that we’re going to all these lengths to save the Goddess, the Goddess is disregarding herself for the sake of humanity, destroying her own existence. The person we are trying to save, doesn’t wish to be saved. In addition, the method we are using to try to save her is the massacre of humanity, going against the Goddess’s will. Naturally, our little Goddess is not best pleased.

To bystanders, what we are trying to do would likely be considered evil. However, we’re going to do it anyway. After all, that’s what the Demon King desires. The Demon King has decided that even if it will turn the entire world against her, that even if the person she saves will resent her, that she’ll do it anyway. I felt that it would be nice to be the ally of such a Demon King.

That’s why, I had made up my mind. Regardless of what D stirred up, regardless of who became our enemy. But, still. Isn’t this timing a bit much? Sensei is glaring at me with a severe expression. Yep. Arghhhh! Dammit all! She really got me!

……What am I going to do about this?


Translation notes:

“I’m gonna punch you now!” – possibly a reference to a TV drama called “School Wars”.

Shameless Advertisement: Read about a teenage demon hunting high school student private detective. Trying saying that three times fast. Sword Detective Hayate
Kumo desu ga, Nani ka? S34