Kumo desu ga, Nani ka? 245

How to make friends and influence people, yandere imouto edition.

245 – Let’s start with “seiza”

Oblivious children get the seiza. This is common sense for all Japanese. Eh? I’m wrong? I don’t accept that objection. Incidentally I’ve just realised the fact that since I’ve been born I’ve never done the seiza like this. The next time I teleport to Japan, I’ll try drinking tea while sitting in the seiza. Ahh, subdued refinement.

So in short, imouto-chan is currently sitting in the seiza. Her hands are tied behind her back with threads and her legs are also tied, so she’s forcibly being made to sit in the seiza, and on her legs a suitable stone has been placed. This is it! PUNISHMENT!

Imouto-chan seems about to cry, or rather she is crying already. Well, she is actually royalty after all, so she’s probably not experienced something like this before. Her – first – stone. Her legs are shivering nicely now, so let’s try poking them a little.

Twitch, twitch!

Damn, this is such fun. Is this a new type of toy? Poke her and she gasps, a life-size imouto figurine. Her value is priceless. Damn, I’ll be inundated with buyers.

Currently, we are in another dimension that I’ve constructed. No matter how noisy it gets nobody will be coming. If it was Natsume-kun’s room, it seems likely that someone would hear the noise eventually and investigate. Here we can have a nice long “talk” you see.

While it’s not as much as in the other dimension Kuro is sealed in, the flow of time is different to the real world here. Since it did take me half a day to explain things to Argnar, I can’t take my poor communication skills lightly. This will definitely take time. So for that reason, I am now performing the greatest degree of time manipulation that I can. This is the opposite of Urashima Tarou. Now then, imouto-chan, go ahead and enjoy the numbness in your legs as much as you want! Ah, not that. That wasn’t my goal.

「Sniffle! Uhh, who, sniff, are you?」

While weeping, while groaning, imouto-chan asks me. I’m a spider, so what? Yeah. I guess she’s not asking about that sort of thing. Hmm. How to reply?

「Evil God.」

Before thee stands the Evil God. I’m not necessarily incorrect okay, and I’m not lying either. Even if I say so myself, what I’m doing is right up there with the Evil God, basically. A god who intends to destroy the world, humans call that an Evil God! Calling myself with the same title as that D is seriously unpleasant though.

It might have been better to call myself the “Demon King”, but if that leaks somehow and I draw the attention of that brother of hers then it would be annoying. I don’t mean her brother Yamada-kun. I mean the current Hero. It’d be simple enough to kill him, but if I kill him now things will be awkward in various ways. If I don’t proceed carefully with this matter, there is even the possibility that my project will collapse at the foundations. This is purely a talk about possibilities though, since the actual probability is low. Still, so long as the chance is not zero, it’s better not to tread on thin ice. You can’t be too cautious when on ice. So let’s try to avoid stepping on it in the first place.

「The Evil God!」

Imouto-chan gulps in understanding. Ah, that’s right, within this world there was only one being who is called “Evil God”.

Once upon a time, there was the Evil God who drove everyone to war. The people infected by the Evil God’s miasma would continue to kill everyone around them. The people appealed to the Goddess and thus sanity was restored, and they banded together to destroy the Evil God. Under the divine protection of the Goddess, peace was restored. And they all lived happily ever after.

A worthless fable. So worthless it makes me sick.

The Evil God that drives everyone to war. That suits me perfectly. When all’s said and done, I guess I might as well be that ancient Evil God, resurrected from the age of legends? I shall take over the role of that mysterious and unseen Evil God. One of life’s little ironies I guess.

Imouto-chan seems oddly accepting. Er no, don’t accept! Hmm, I guess so. I guess I’m acknowledged as an Evil God. Being viewed as such by an oblivious girl, which way is better I wonder?

I guess that’s enough threatening for now. Let’s get down to business.

「Don’t, kill, that.」

Damn, I’ve forgotten Natsume-kun’s name in this world. Or rather, I’m not the type to remember people’s faces or names. I can recognise the reincarnators though. Thanks to the memories of Wakaba Hiiro. But, for humans in this world, or the names of reincarnators in this world, I don’t particularly remember them. Not unless they leave a really strong impression.

Going by that theory, I guess that imouto-chan here leaves quite a strong impression huh. Well, I guess?

「Why? Hic! As the Evil God, what is, ugh, that boy to you?」

Umm, in summary, why am I protecting Natsume-kun, or something like that? You don’t have to use that erotic voice all the time though. If you keep doing that, something might awaken in big sister you know? Okay, it won’t.

「That can still be used.」

I won’t be telling you what he can be used for. And so, I won’t tell you that he’s disposable either. If I told you that I’m afraid of what kind of strange expectations you’ll have.

「You are, ugh, going to start wars?」

I assent. Hmm? Imouto-chan seems to have mixed feelings about that?

Hmm. A clue to capturing her? Recall this girl’s character. How can I lure her in? What is she thinking about with such an expression? Think!

Maybe I don’t need to think about it? Currently the only image of her I have inside of me is “I love onii-sama!” To an abnormal degree too.

This is what this face says: If there’s a war then my beloved ultra perfect onii-sama’s grand exploits will make him an overnight superstar, so it will help him become the ruler of the world. Ahh, alas, maybe not even a genius like onii-sama can contend with the Evil God in front of me? If that happens, then onii-sama is in danger! There’s no way that this Evil God will leave alone someone like onii-sama who possesses the aura of a great historical figure! I’m sure it’s true that this Evil God fears that onii-sama will become stronger and is making plans to kill him before he’s ready! But, if it’s onii-sama! If it’s onii-sama then surely he can even beat the Evil God! To make that happen, I cannot allow this Evil God to strike the first blow against onii-sama. Onii-sama, I shall buy time for your sake!

……Yeah, something like that I guess. Her sense of despair has vanished as if it never was, and now I feel that she’s glaring at me severely, seemingly indicating that the change in her way of thinking matches my image of her amazingly well. Ultimately this is just me play-acting her inner thoughts based on her image, but I feel that if I’m not exactly right then I’m not far off either.

In that case, the devil’s temptation, no, the Evil God’s temptation.

「Your onii-san, how about I overlook him?」


Translation notes:

While the seiza is used in all sorts of formal occasions and the like, it is also sometimes used to punish people. Putting weights on their legs is certainly not common though. Just to be clear, the whole time Sue is speaking in this chapter she is struggling to speak clearly due to the pain.

“Subdued refinement” has been translated from wabi-sabi, which is a particularly Japanese aesthetic sense.

“I’m a spider, so what?” – Shiro is exactly quoting the title of this series here.

“Something might awaken in big sister” – Shiro is referring to herself as “big sister” here and the implication is that she might awaken to S&M tendencies or something like that.

Kumo desu ga, Nani ka? 244
Kumo desu ga, Nani ka? 246